I've been recently diagnosed with hearing loss. I have a problem specifically with my right ear where I have frequency fall-off above 4khz. In addition to this, I was told by the specialist that I have tinnitus. Well, my immediate response was to say 'I don't have Tinnitus'.
Mountain cabin, Central Highlands of Iceland, March 2017
But this week, I've become particularly aware of ringing in my ears where I was not aware of it before. Funny how the brain can block out something for so long, and the moment that someone tells me about something I was blocking out - I begin to hear it.
I think the damage happened many years ago when I was a budding musician. Most people who work on music are subjected to sounds louder than is safe for their hearing, and if I could turn the clock back I would ask for ear mufflers whilst being in studio control rooms with loud volumes.
The good news is that I believe that I will become immune to the ringing in my ears as time goes on. In fact I believe I have managed to ignore it,for many years, and it's only the recent diagnosis that has brought the problem out into full view. Given time, I hope it will re-disappear.
Perception is everything. We may not think we have a problem until someone else tells us we do.
For many years I have had floaters in my eyes. I see black spots in my vision when I stare at empty spaces such as blue skies or white snow. The funny thing is that I don't notice the floaters any more. I adapted to them many years ago (floaters are retina debris that cast shadows on the back wall of your retina, and therefore you see black spots).
It's taught me that the human mind has an ability to adapt. I don't see the floaters so much any more except for when I think about them and I can only assume that it's the same for the ringing in my ears. I now believe that the ringing has been there for a very long time, but it's only because someone else pointed it out to me, that I've become aware of it again (bummer).
But you know, I think this is a lesson in perception.
I have been a firm believer that what I see, may not be what is really there. For instance, I know that the brain adapts very quickly to colour casts. When I am indoors in the evening, my surroundings are bathed in a warm tungsten light. Yet I do not perceive it as such. I know I am being fooled by my own brain as it re-adapts to the surroundings I am in.
So if I can't trust my vision to really tell me what is in front of me, then I am more than ready to accept that art is totally subjective. What may be beautiful to me, may be ugly to someone else. So if I am to create anything at all, I should do it for me, and me alone. Anyone else who like's it is a bonus :-)