I made it to the isle of Harris this week. What was originally planned as a workshop (and cancelled a few months ago) has become a holiday break for me. I have for company my dad. whom I have been looking after for the past few months. Since I get on really well with him (he’s such a push over :-) it’s nice to be able to make photos with someone who’s quite happy to sit in the car and enjoy the scenery.
It has been six months now since I last used my camera. Before you assume that I must have been frustrated not having the time to shoot, I have to confess that this wasn’t the case. I realise for most, there is very little time each year to make photos, and most are often dreaming about being away somewhere. For the past several years, I’ve had no problem segregating my photography time and other time into compartments. When I am not making photos - I give myself permission to enjoy other things and look at it as much needed time away from it. And when I am making photos, I’m focussed.
I do think ‘time away’ from any passion / hobby is important. I’ve had periods where I was stale and I didn’t know it. I only noticed it once I had some forced time away from it, and realised how ‘fresh’ and ‘new’ it felt once I returned to it.
But today was the first day I have been out with my camera at sunrise in a very long time. It is also the first time I have made photos on my own in many years. I am either on workshops, or when photographing privately I often invite some photography friends along for the company.
It has just been such a thrill today, to be outside on my own. I had forgotten how much I enjoy it, and a few thoughts came to mind while I was outside;
First, it dawned on me that photography is my life. I could not live my life without being a creative person, and when I was reaching for my light meter, or working out my reciprocity exposures, it all felt like a hand going inside a comfortable glove. I don’t think I could do anything else.
Second, I have not enjoyed beautiful light in six months. Just standing on the beach I realised that getting any new photos would just be a bonus, and it really didn’t matter if I got any new photos at all. What I was there for, was to feel present. To feel the wind on my face, to watch the waves move in and out, and to just enjoy being. Taking pleasure in the present moment. It was wonderful.
Third, I gave myself permission to take the pressure off. The past week I had been wondering if I would get anything new on Harris. I have photographed it so many times over the years, and I so sometimes feel that some of the locations I have become close to over the past decade, are old friends now. But today while I was out, all pressures disappeared. I just realised ‘what will be will be’, and ‘it’s just wonderful to be here’.
I must admit that when I first arrived a few days ago, I suffered from procrastination. This is different from the slow-start that many photographers tell me about. I never have problems with ‘getting into the zone’. But I do have problems at times just starting at all. Just getting in the car with the gear and going somewhere to do something.
I felt a sense of pressure. Since I had not photographed in several months, I was beginning to wonder if I would feel anything if I went out to make photos. The way round this is to just start. Doesn’t matter how good the work is - just start.
As Ernest Hemingway once said “The first draft of anything is shit.”
It’s about letting go. Creativity should be about that anyway. Leave the judgement aside for a while.
I do hope you can get some time to make photos. Perhaps a park nearby, a river that you like, or some familiar coast line. Even a place that you know well and have photographed so many times in the past that you feel you are tired of. I’d urge you to go.
If you haven’t made photos in a long while, go. It will do you good.