Just today I hit a brick wall, and I have decided that the best thing for me to do, is to stop trying to do what I’m doing, and go do something else instead.

About a week ago, I decided that it would be really nice to go through my backlog of images shot in 2024 and 2023, and edit them for inclusion on my website. I reasoned that it would be good to publish all the portfolios together in one go, because of layout issues on my website.

It all started out very well, and I’m delighted with the set of images I’ve created from Lencois in 2023 (I have a backlog going back to 2020!). I also enjoyed editing my new Hokkaido autumn images and feel very happy with those as well. And I also edited some beautiful winter shots from Harris.

It was all going rather well until today when I started to notice it is flipped from feelings of joy to feelings of it all being a slog. What turned out to be a creative burst has gone, to be replaced by feelings of work, and it’s taken me a day to realise this is what has happened to me.

I can never edit work to order. I’ve got to feel enthused about what I do, and so rather than keep to the schedule of having the work done before I go to Japan, I have now accepted that the best thing would be for me to park it. Because the creative muse has left me, and go out into the sunshine and do something else for a while.

It’s a fine line balancing business with commerce. I have been self employed now for more than 15 years, and I have always felt that the way to be the most true to what you do: is to do it when I am into it, and when I’m not into it, it’s best for me to put the tools down and go and do something else to help me recharge.

So I think my intention of having a whole new web page devoted to 8 portfolios is going to take longer than I assumed, and that is, now that I have realised that the creative muse isn’t with me any more, completely fine.

The biggest battle is often in realising that you’re not in the creative burst you thought you were, and the 2nd biggest battle is to accept that it isn’t working for you right now, and to halt all work, and go do something else instead for a while.