It has been six months now since I last used my camera. Before you assume that I must have been frustrated not having the time to shoot, I have to confess that this wasn’t the case. I realise for most, there is very little time each year to make photos, and most are often dreaming about being away somewhere. For the past several years, I’ve had no problem segregating my photography time and other time into compartments. When I am not making photos - I give myself permission to enjoy other things and look at it as much needed time away from it. And when I am making photos, I’m focussed.
I do think ‘time away’ from any passion / hobby is important. I’ve had periods where I was stale and I didn’t know it. I only noticed it once I had some forced time away from it, and realised how ‘fresh’ and ‘new’ it felt once I returned to it.
But today was the first day I have been out with my camera at sunrise in a very long time. It is also the first time I have made photos on my own in many years. I am either on workshops, or when photographing privately I often invite some photography friends along for the company.
It has just been such a thrill today, to be outside on my own. I had forgotten how much I enjoy it, and a few thoughts came to mind while I was outside;
First, it dawned on me that photography is my life. I could not live my life without being a creative person, and when I was reaching for my light meter, or working out my reciprocity exposures, it all felt like a hand going inside a comfortable glove. I don’t think I could do anything else.
Second, I have not enjoyed beautiful light in six months. Just standing on the beach I realised that getting any new photos would just be a bonus, and it really didn’t matter if I got any new photos at all. What I was there for, was to feel present. To feel the wind on my face, to watch the waves move in and out, and to just enjoy being. Taking pleasure in the present moment. It was wonderful.
Third, I gave myself permission to take the pressure off. The past week I had been wondering if I would get anything new on Harris. I have photographed it so many times over the years, and I so sometimes feel that some of the locations I have become close to over the past decade, are old friends now. But today while I was out, all pressures disappeared. I just realised ‘what will be will be’, and ‘it’s just wonderful to be here’.